For me, this was a huge step in becoming a happier more positive person. I got so angry and frustrated with how I was feeling...I didn't understand how something in my brain could make me feel so horrible. Not only that, but I was treating one of the most important people in my life horribly too, and I knew that wasn't who I was.The hardest part is not understanding. And to be honest, its hard to explain how you're feeling to someone who isn't experiencing it. I felt as if I would be told that its not a big deal, you're overthinking it, don't worry about it. For me, those words stung. Because how I was feeling was a big deal, and I did worry about it....all the day. And yes, I did know that I was overthinking it, but I couldn't help myself.
Being anxious is normal. Studying/preparing for an exam, going in for a really important interview. Yeah, being anxious and nervous totally makes sense. But it isn't till that feeling starting to totally overcome you that it becomes bad. You put scenarios into your head that you know in all likelihood would never happen. If you make a mistake, you think about it for days, and beat yourself up. Even if it wasn't even a big deal. You worry about what you're boyfriend is doing, why he isn't responding, and you treat him horribly and wake up the next morning apologizing...thinking why you had ever acted like that in the first place.
Thats anxiety, and when its ugly face shows up, you crawl up in a ball and feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
To get out of this deep hole I felt like I was in, understanding anxiety helped me so much. When I went to the doctor, I asked her how my thoughts could cause so many physical symptoms. She explained to me that firstly, anxiety is genetic. So it wasn't entirely my fault, although I don't consider it to be my parents fault either.
On top of that, she said that I wasn't naturally producing enough serotonin in my brain to help me think and react to situations in a rational manner. I'm not a scientist by any means, but understanding that I really wasn't crazy, made me start to feel better. This chemical imbalance, caused me to literally focus on the bad and cause me to be really irrational. Honestly, it was at times as if I literally couldn't turn it off and it made me feel like a crazy person.
I used this information and tried my best to explain it to my loved ones, I basically told them what I knew and that there really wasn't a simple explanation for why I was the way I was sometimes. I told them that I needed their support more than ever. And I was given it willingly.
In this case, knowledge really is power. Understanding anxiety will be your biggest asset, and using this information and talking to your family/friends and gaining their support will help you through what seems like an impossibly difficult time in your life.
I hope this helped for someone, because trust me...I know how hard it is! But it does get better!! 😀
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